A Softening of the Heart

Because, I mean...how can you resist this?

I found out about midday yesterday that the job I had applied for (which would have been an internal promotion for me) was filled by somebody else. So I am going to have a new supervisor come August 1.

I probably wasn't fully qualified for the position, and based on the information I have been able to gather about the new person coming in to the role, I can understand why she was hired. She worked here before, and has been currently performing a function at another school that is critical to the position here where I work. So her hire makes perfect sense.

That doesn't mean it doesn't sting a bit.

As I was licking my wounds yesterday and trying not to fall into too deep of a funk, I went to the interwebs and that bastion of entertainment YouTube and watched puppy videos.

Yes, I, a grown ass man, watched puppy videos to cheer myself up.

Growing up, we didn't have pets. My sister was allergic to animal hair, so no dogs or cats were allowed in our house. I also suffered from an allergy to cats when I was a kid. I never really had any interested in fish or the typical caged rodents, so that was that.

It wasn't until I was 25 years old that I got a pet for the first time. His name was Tiki. He was a grey tiger striped cat. He was loyal and affectionate and I loved him dearly. We got him a sister, Trixie, almost a year later so that he had a playmate.

Tiki passed away last summer at the age of 13. Trixie is still alive. 

Trixie is more of a traditional cat; standoffish and aloof.

Tiki was more playful and affectionate. He was more dog-like, if that makes sense.

And maybe it's the fact that he is no longer with us that is making me pine for a dog. 

I watched the puppy videos because I needed a smile yesterday. But it's not the first time I've watched videos about dogs online. I also watch the sad stories and videos where I see dogs that have been abused, and shelter dogs who are so excited to be rescued you can see them bursting with joy when they get to go to their forever homes.

My heart aches when I see those sad videos, or read those stories about people who are dumping dogs out in the wilds, or those who turn in their older dogs at the shelter because, well, they're not cute and young and fun anymore.

Like, what the hell is up with that? I don't understand people who have that approach, or thought process. They are a family member; theoretically (and in practice, I hope) you don't dump your cute infant when they become a hellish toddler or an irascible teenager. (Granted, I know that there are folks who have done the latter. But that's a fail, too.)

We are not in a situation now where we can get a dog; our lease and HOA only allows us to keep one pet. And I am still not sure exactly what kind of dog I would want us to get. I have ideas, but it will be at least a year before it happens.

So I guess my soft heart will beat on alone until then.